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Asunder: Works will come undone

07/07/10  ||  sly

This must be one of the most boring albums I’ve ever had the displeasure of sitting through.

It’s not necessarily bad, it’s justsoboring… This is definitely the kind of music I would by socks to. Everyone knows that purchasing socks is one of the most humdrum necessities of life. If you’re very lucky, grandma gives you a bag of socks for Christmas every year, thus eliminating this oh so tedious task. Unfortunately, however, one cannot assign to grandmother the business of critiquing sometimes very awful music.

Allow me to paint you a picture of the sound that is presently encroaching upon ears. Forty seconds in, I think we’ve had three little strums and some monotone moaning. Two minutes in: this is where it really takes off. He growls a little louder and deeper. I think he’s mourning his dead goldfish. Hark! are those drums I hear? Bravo, boys, you’ve figured it out. This should now qualify as music. Although it kinda sounds like someone is pooping very slowly into a cup and playing drums to it.

Now, my not liking it does not mean that you won’t. If you’re fanatic for out of tune vocals, guitars, and violins, this may be for you. If an all around appalling lack of talent makes you wanna touch yourself, you’ll love it. But I’ve compiled two convenient lists that you may consult to see if this album is right for your needs.

This album is good for:

Putting your baby to sleep
Boring your great-aunt Bertha
Maintaining a flaccid penis
Attracting gay depressed emo boys to your bed
Acquiring a dull headache

It is bad for:

Spring cleaning motivation
Workout music
Getting a hard-on
Coaxing women to actually sleep with you

My best possible conclusion is this: it’s better than a punch in the nose. But if given the choice between listening to it again, or having a booger wiped on me, I’d take the booger. I would call “Works will come undone” the so-so album of the century.

3,5

  • Information
  • Released: 2006
  • Label: Profound Lore Records
  • Website: www.asunder.info
  • Band
  • John Gossard: guitars, vocals
  • Geoff Evans: guitars
  • Salvador Raya: bass
  • Jackie Perez-Gratz: cello
  • Dino Sommese: drums, vocals
  • Tracklist
  • 01. A Famine
  • 02. Rite of Finality
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